Why All Uggs Should be Burned Off the Face of the Earth

 

I absolutely, positively abhor Uggs. I apologize in advance to those of you out there who are slaves to the furry power that is the Ugg, but I just cannot stand them. They're an epidemic (You should trust me on this one, I'm a nursing student and I am trained to know epidemics when I see em'). Here is just a taste of the reasons why I hate Uggs:

1. The Price: Up to two hundred dollars, TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS,  for a pair glorified slippers. As much as I love shoes, I have never spent more than seventy dollars on a pair of heels, and yet my peers gleefully spend much more on such hideous footwear. What in the foolishness? What a ripoff! I could go on about this, but I'm going to stop before I give myself an aneurysm.

2. The Look:  Everything about them is just wrong. They're completely shapeless, they have no arch support, and are probably hurting your feet more than they are helping. They flatter no one and they end at such an awkward spot on your leg. They're not quite full-length boots, but not quite ankle boots either.

3. The way they're worn: I personally think that Uggs are built with some kind of Weather Confuse Ray inside of them (obviously proving that Uggs are evil robots sent from the future to destroy all fashion and individuality). Uggs are clearly not meant to get wet. And yet, girls wear them in the rain and complain about how their feet look like Wet Hush Puppies.

In addition, if you're going to wear Uggs, at the very least make sure that they are confined to the winter time. For goodness sake, stop wearing your uggs with your mini-skirt and tank top in the middle of July! I know your feet have got to be getting all hot and sweaty in there. It makes no sense!

4. Ugg Clones Attack: You cannot ever hope to stand out when wearing Uggs. Why? Because everyone and their mother (and sometimes their father too. Lawd. I shudder at the thought) is wearing Uggs. Any given day on campus, one can expect to see a ton of girls wearing a pair of Uggs. And here's where I admit something horrible: I tried on a pair of Uggs once. I took one look in the mirror and was shocked because I had disappeared. Okay, maybe not in the literal sense of the word. It's just that with my jeans and Uggs on, I looked like every single other girl. My uniqueness was instantly glommed over by the hideous boots. I was no longer Crystin. I became Every-Other-Female-Between-The-Ages-of-12-and-30. Who wants to be a clone?  Certainly not me.

Moral of the story: Uggs are evil. Yes, I said it. Evil. They're making you look hideous, they're doing unspeakable acts to your feet, they're taking away your individuality, and charging you up to $200 to do it! Burn them! (Not really. I'm joking. Practice fire safety, guys!)

Phew! Okay, my rant is over.
Pictures taken from:
http://fashionindie.com http://thegloss.com http://houston.culturemap.com http://igotuggs.com