How to be Normal: A guide for beginners

1. Stop Thinking
This is the first and most important step. One of the great things about being normal is that you don't have to think! Others can do the thinking for you. Not sure what to wear in the morning? Ask your mother/boyfriend/roommate/random person on the street. Those pesky thoughts will get in the way of your day. Get rid of em!

2. Follow Trends to the Letter
That's right! Normal people follow the trends, whether they know it or not.  This makes it easier to blend in with the crowd. Look around you. What do you see most around you? Copy it! Of course, there is a fine line between following the trends absent-mindedly and being "trendy." Never ever be spotted wearing a trend first! Always wait for a few others to wear it before you jump on the bandwagon. This will ensure you are not perceived as being unique. Have you ever seen Star Wars? Strive to be like the clones! They all walk around in white suits, obeying orders from a higher person. Perfect!

3. You are ugly and you are proud!
Don't think you're ugly? You're making a mistake right there! You need to go back to step number one. Stop thinking! Insult yourself. Say you're too fat, even if you weigh 90 pounds soaking wet.  Say you're a hideous monster-butt-face, even though you're drop dead gorgeous. Say you have hair like Medusa, even if you should be modeling for a shampoo commercial. This is what normal people do.

4. Sweats, uggs, leggings for pants, and flip-flops rule the world.
You must have these staples in your closet, especially if you are in college. You must wear them everyday, no matter the time of year. Wear your uggs in the summer and your flip-flops in the winter. And you know what's even better? Wearing your pajamas to class! Now that's what I call normal!

5. Above all, avoid personality!
You don't have a favorite color. You don't have a favorite anything. Favorites are for those with spines! The goal here is to avoid standing out at all costs. Laugh at those who do stand out. Only wear bright colors if others are doing the same. Try to avoid bold patterns. Never ever wear heels anywhere! Wear teensy-weensy shorts as soon as the temperature breaks 70 degrees. Wear Hollister, Abercrombie, and Aeropostale all the time.

If you find that you cannot follow these rules, you are not meant to be normal.